Much Ado About Nothing by William ShakespeareMuch Ado About Nothing, abridged.
CLAUDIO: So, um, Hero, I sorta maybe like you a whole lot will you go to the prom with me?
HERO: We should get married! Squeeeeeee!
BEATRICE: Pfft. Love is for stupid losers who are stupid.
BENEDICK: You know, you might get laid more often if you werenít such a cynical bitch all the time.
BEATRICE: Fuck you.
BENEDICK: Get in line, sugartits.
*audience is beaten over the head by sexual tension*
DON PEDRO: Hey everybody, I had a great idea! Letís make Beatrice and Benedick fall in love!
EVERYONE: YAY! MEDDLING!
PRINCE JOHN: So, I think Iím going to break up Claudio and Hero.
BORACHIO: Really? Thatís your dastardly scheme? How do we possibly benefit from that?
PRINCE JOHN: No, see, I donít like Claudio because my half-brother likes him, and I hate my half brother, soÖwait. Okay, so itís actually a really pointless plan that only serves to create conflict. But itís the only way I get any good scenes in this thing, so MISCHIEF AHOY!
BORACHIO AND CONRADE: YAY!
BEATRICE: Hey Benedick, you still suck donkey balls.
BENEDICK: I fart in your general direction! Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!
BEATRICE: I dont want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper!
PRINCE JOHN: So guess what Claudio? Your woman totally cheated on you. I saw, I was there.
CLAUDIO: OMG I HATE THAT WHORE.
DON PEDRO: Despite the fact that heís a bastard in all senses of the word and has no reason to be helping me or my friends, I think we should believe John without proof or even asking Heroís side of the story.
CLAUDIO: Hero, youíre a shameless whore and I hate your stupid face!
PRIEST: Great job, now Heroís dead from sad.
CLAUDIO: OMG I AM SO REMORSEFUL. FORGIVE ME, DEAD HERO!
HERO: Pysche! Iím really okay!
BEATRICE: Luckily THIS time the priestís idea to fake a girlís death to solve all her problems actually worked, instead of backfiring horribly.
BENEDICK: Hey, thatís pretty funny. You know, I guess youíre not that bad. I think I love you, and stuff.
BEATRICE: Yeah, I guess I kind of love you too.
ANTONIO: Close enough. Now off to kill Prince John!
Exploring Shakespeare: Much Ado About Nothing
Much Ado About Nothing
Sign in. Get a quick look at the the week's trailers, including Villains , Countdown , Like a Boss , and more. Watch now. Title: Much Ado About Nothing Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, returns home to find his father murdered and his mother remarrying the murderer, his uncle. Meanwhile, war is brewing.
It was adapted for the screen and directed by Kenneth Branagh , who also stars in the film. The film was released on May 7, , reaching U. It was also entered into the Cannes Film Festival. Having just crushed an uprising by his half-brother, Don John, Don Pedro of Aragon and his noblemen visit their friend Leonato in Messina. Accompanying Don Pedro is the witty Benedick, former lover of Leonato's equally sharp-tongued niece, Beatrice.
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Much Ado About Nothing
Storyline: Young lovers Hero and Claudio are to be married in one week. Meanwhile, the evil Don Jon conspires to break up the wedding by accusing Hero of infidelity. In college I was an English literature major, with a minor in theater, and so Shakespeare is found in both. Theater people state that Shakespeare was never literature at all, which in the purpose of the plays is true, however because of the prose that he wrote in is a poetic form, he is literature as well. Whatever you do, never get in between two people arguing this point, your head might blow up!
Their targets are sharp-witted duo Benedick Kenneth Branagh and Beatrice Emma Thompson -- a tough task indeed, considering their corresponding Hunting down a streaming service to buy, rent, download, or watch the Kenneth Branagh-directed movie via subscription can be confusing, so we here at Moviefone want to do the work for you. We've listed a number of streaming and cable services - including rental, purchase, and subscription choices - along with the availability of 'Much Ado About Nothing' on each platform. Curious to know what the movie's about? Here's the plot: "In this Shakespearean farce, Hero Kate Beckinsale and her groom-to-be, Claudio Robert Sean Leonard , team up with Claudio's commanding officer, Don Pedro Denzel Washington , the week before their wedding to hatch a matchmaking scheme.